Ditch All or Nothing Thinking with These 2 Techniques

If you struggle with an on-the-wagon, off-the-wagon mentality, the chances are you are dealing with all-or-nothing thinking — and in this blog I’m going to teach you two science-backed ways to get past it.

Make sure you stick around for that second one because it’s probably going to revolutionize the way you think about habits entirely.

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Hi, my name is Dr. Karin Nordin and I’m your friendly neighborhood behavior change expert here to bring you the real science behind self-help.

And as my boyfriend likes to randomly remind me in the middle of dinnertime, I too sometimes struggle with all-or-nothing thinking (black and white thinking).

Let’s start by getting a clear definition of all-or-nothing thinking, and then we’ll dive into how to actually solve it.

All-or-nothing thinking is basically a shortcut our brain takes when thinking about our options. If you want to get super sciency, it’s a type of cognitive distortion — basically a series of errors our brains commonly make.

Here’s how that looks in real life: It’s Friday night and you’ve only gotten in two workouts for the week. You really need to get that third one in, but you’re super tired from a long week at work. This is when all-or-nothing thinking rears its head.

Your brain starts to tell you that if you can’t do the full workout to the best of your ability, you should do none of it — skip it entirely. Hence the name, all or nothing.

But most of us, especially if you’re struggling with consistency, actually need to learn to bust through that all-or-nothing thinking and live more in that gray zone. So let’s explore two techniques to help you find and jump into that middle ground.

Technique #1: The Good, Better, Best Chart

Think of a behavior you tend to be all-or-nothing about. Then draw three boxes on a sheet of paper.

In the box on the right, identify the best possible option — maybe that means completing the full workout at the gym, or the whole house gets vacuumed. Go crazy, give into your perfectionistic fantasies and write down that best option.

In the middle box, write your better option — a step down from the best. For example, maybe that means doing the main lift and one round of accessories.

Finally, in the leftmost box, write down your good option — a step down from better. My personal good option for working out is to touch the barbell. That’s it. Go to the gym and touch the barbell, which usually ends up making me do at least the main lift.

Having this done ahead of time gives your brain actual options that live in that gray area — helping you bust through all-or-nothing thinking and actually become more consistent.

Technique #2: Identifying Your North Star Value

This technique is awesome for holidays or tough times when your normal habits don’t quite fit because of changing circumstances.

Take a piece of paper and write down the behavior you’re struggling to be flexible about. Let’s say you’re trying to go for a morning walk every single day. Then ask yourself: What value am I embodying when I do this behavior? What is the actual reason behind this action being a priority for me?

For example, the value behind that morning walk might be wanting to feel like an active version of yourself — or that morning exercise makes you feel intentional or peaceful to start your day.

Once you’ve got a value chosen, draw a bunch of spider web lines coming out of that value. At the end of each line, identify a different action that still helps you uphold that same value.

For example, if you can’t go for a morning walk because the weather is bad, you could still do 10 minutes of core exercises to embody that value of being active.

Share In The Comments Below

I want to hear what value your behavior represents and one alternative way you’d be able to still embody that value with your behaviors.

Let me know if you implement either of these two tips — I hope they work for you!

Thank you for reading, see you in the next one!